Sunset at Hurricane Point

Big Sur Marathon

Run for Your...Fun?

It is presently 4:41a.m. Did you just hear me?  4:41 A. M.

Nothing human should be up this early in the morning. But, in fact, there are thousands of us milling about at this very moment because today is the running of the Big Sur Marathon.

Although the sanity behind requiring all these people to be out of bed and making decisions like "Keep running, Feet!" at such an ungodly hour alludes me, I look forward to being a part of this huge event. I volunteered to help. Apparently that means I will be handing water or something off to runners as they go. This truly frightens me. On a good day, I am uncoordinated and clumsy. At 5:30a.m., I am a menace to society. Putting me close to the path of hundreds of running, focused people in short shorts and spandex, nay, expecting me to HAND THINGS OFF to members of an unstoppable mob while they are IN MOTION....gulp!

Here goes nothing.

Cold Camping

So, Yosemite was freakin' cold. Seriously freakin' cold. But, breathtakingly beautiful and a lot of fun. I don't regret going, but I don't think I'll do a cold Yosemite camping trip for a while.

Cold Feet

Heading on a camping trip today. I love the idea of it and regularly crave travel. But, sometimes, when it actually comes down to it, I lose steam. The reality of not being in my own bed and not having my regular daily routine just doesn't sound as awesome the day before we go. Then there's the packing. A car and cartop carrier full of stuff for four people. Clothes are the least of my concern. Diapers, blankets, pillows, towels, snacks, meals, toys, bikes, car trip entertainment and organization.....Then there's the clean up afterward to look forward to.

I know, I sound like Debbie Downer. I always have a great time when we go, but I think I must have to go through travel cold feet first.

Plus One Phone; Minus Multiple Important Photos

So, not only do I have my phone back, but I have the New and Improved Model. You know- faster, stronger, better. With a wicked waterproof, shatterproof case. Yeah, that baby is going to save my life.
The last phone I had was
1. dropped on hard surface floors at least once a week. The evidence of this was a huge spiderwebby crack all over the face of the phone. But, hey. Cosmetics are not important to me. It still worked!
2. Dropped in a sink full of wet dishes
3. Dropped in the sand, dirt, and mud
4. Chewed on by a drooling, teething baby
5. DROPPED IN A TOILET. after it had been used. before it had been flushed (but not before the teething baby)
But, none of these things killed my phone. I mean, the toilet thing happened years ago. The shattered face had been flaking off bits of glass for months. No. It just finally gave up the ghost. Maybe it was internal bleeding. Maybe it just couldn't take it anymore. You know, it was all just too much.

The catch is I had not synced my phone since......NOVEMBER 11, 2009. Seriously. Three and a half months of new apps, contact info, and PHOTOS. My photos are gone! Christmas, Birthday, trips - GONE. The only upside is that I email photos to friends and family really often, so I have the photos in my sent emails. But, still. That really sucks.

So, if you learn nothing else from me, learn this:

SYNC YOUR DAMN PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

No Cell Phone?!!!

I lost a limb! Or, at least that's what it feels like. My phone died last night, and now I feel like an important part of my functioning body is missing. So, of course, I am scrambling to run to town as fast as possible to replace my poor unfortunate phone.

All of this brings to mind the history of life that falls within B.C.P.times. Before Cell Phones. Seriously, I have to ask the question: How the f*ck did we survive! I know we did. We are here now, alive and well, despite having to muddle through those harrowing dark ages.

But, sometimes I just forget, you know. I forget what it was like to not have GPS and laptops and roaring fast internet and cell phones. Honestly, I was a kid, so I don't actually know how adults went through the steps to, say, travel without these gadgets. How does one arrange a trip to Disney Land? Find a clean, inexpensive hotel in San Francisco? Find out when Trader Joe's closes? Find a Starbucks within a 5 mile radius of your present location? ALL WITHOUT INTERNET, GPS, OR CELL PHONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It freaks me out just imagining it.

Calla Lillies

Thawing Out

 Just last week, I was whining about how I was SO OVER being cold all the time. We keep our heat low in the house through the winter, so I end up wearing layers and jackets and such around the house on cold days. Well, every day was a cold day for a while there. And windy. And gray. And BLAAAH!

 Well, Someone must have heard my complaining and decided to coddle a poor wuss such as me.The past few days have been sunny and super warm. I feel human again. I have picniced in the yard with my kids. Opened all the windows to air the house out (Nothing smells more wonderful than a house that smells like spring). And taken naps in the warm sunshine to thaw myself out(i.e. worked on my tan).

Then then most amazing thing happened. A springtime miracle. I guess the warm, sunny weather has awakened my inner spring-cleaner. Because I have also vacuumed my ceiling. That is worth repeating, I VACUUMED MY CEILING. I looked up and saw cobwebs EVERYWHERE. It was like my ceiling had become one giant web. At any moment, one of my kids might jump too high and never come back down.

Now, my entire body is itching with the need to throw stuff out. My cozy little winter home now feels cluttered and stuffy. So, I guess I'll be going through the closets next. In between tanning/napping that is.

Ahhhh, spring.

Breaking Dawn

Warm, Sunny Day

Girl Hats and Boy Wings

I crocheted (is that how you spell it?) a little pink hat for my girl last night. She has been wearing it around the house all morning.

I am aware of the fact that I keep making clothes for my daughter and not one thing for my son. This is not favoritism. It is a known fact that making little girl clothes is a million times cuter and more fun than making boy clothes. I have plans, however, to sew  a project for my son. He wants wings. He is certain that if he can get the lightest but strongest fabric and if the wings connect to his wrists and his waist and if he flaps his arms fast enough then he will fly. He does not doubt this at all. Even though I have discussed the physics involved more than once. No, I don't plan on letting him jump off a cliff to find out on his own. But, off the couch would be okay. So, I will make the wings.

Not So Coordinated, But Oh So Crafty

Just call me Little Miss Crafty Pants 'cause I'm so crafty. Note, I did not say Coordinated, Well-Planned, or Talented. Just Crafty. Lately, I am always thinking about art projects for my class or sewing projects for my little girl. But, I don't always know the best way to make something that doen't make people giggle in mockery.

My art class has gotten my juices flowing. I think about art all the time. The moment I wake up til the moment I go back to bed. I'm inspired by everything and want to try it all. Oddly, this isn't sooo very different from normal, the  difference is that I am actually DOING IT! I buy a secondhand sweater, and instead of letting it sit on a table for months only to then stuff it in a closet for years, I USE IT IMMEDIATELY! I cut that puppy up and make shtuff. Now, the end results are not always pretty. For instance, I made some cute little sweater pants. Right. I made the oh-so-obvious, as-bad-as-forgetting-to-plug-in-the-appliance-before-calling-customer-service mistake. I sewed them inside out. Seriously. Slap hand to forhead for me.

Still, I will not be detered or discouraged. I WILL PREVAIL! I AM LITTLE MISS CRAFTY PANTS!

Trees at MPC

Sugar Gun Powder

This morning, my little girl found the remains of her big brother's lollipop/powdersugar-dip-n-lick-ultimatebloodsugarspiking candy. She dipped her finger in to sample the goods, then turned to me and said, "I like this sugar gun powder."

South 101 near Santa Barbara

Spring is upon us

My Super Awesome New Diet Plan!

Well, I don't have any definitive, clear updates on my Lose Five Pounds in One Month plan. I know, that should really not be that hard to do. I mean, come on, some people are out there losing 10 pounds in a week. I don't know these people personally, but they are out there. I'm sure of it.

Anyway, the truth of my situation can be found in two little words:

THIN. MINTS.

I love thin mints. So much so, that last year, when I missed the cookie sale completely, I cried. I CRIED OVER THIN MINT DEPRIVATION! This year, I was not going to be caught off guard. I found a supplier (aka. girl scout) back before Christmas and let her know I needed my fix! I ordered a whole case. Not a box of cookies, a case of cookies. This year, when I cried, it was with tears of joy.
Have I mentioned that I really like thin mints?

SO, here's my new, awesome idea. I'm going to start the THIN MINT DIET. Yeah, you heard me. The Thin Mint Diet. After all, it does have the word "thin" in it.

Just an Update

We had a warm, sunny, amazing week. Now we are wet, cold, and grey. Tomorrow is to be nicer, but then the rain is back.

I have added one little art class to my schedule, and I'm telling you, I feel stressed and overworked. I'm embarrassed by this because I know all kinds of people who work or take multiple classes while juggling the responsibilities of running a household. Having to get up early and go full tilt all day just two days a week is wearing me out! But, the puzzle is fitting in homework around "Mom!" "Mommy!" "I need! I Neeeeeeed!" I feel awful for sending my little one to day care during my class time. Now I am contemplating getting a babysitter so I can do homework.

Mother-guilt aside, I am enjoying taking this class. I love that it is mine. I like getting out of the house. I even appreciate getting up early to watch the sun rise and then go take on a full day. I especially love that this class forces me to create art. I regularly crave to make art any way I can, but I am a perfectionist at heart, so my fear of failure and imperfection outweighs my need to express myself. This class requires me to be creative whether it comes out perfect or not. I get good feedback and support from others. I get inspiration from seeing other students' work. And, I get the chance to just practice, practice, practice.

Oh, btw, I have lost 1.8 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have I mentioned how much I love Big Sur?

Hide & Seek. Three Year Old Style.

Weights

I am currently wearing 4 lb weights on my ankles and 2 lb weights on my wrists. I wore them all day yesterday without ever feeling worn out. I even played batminton with my son for 2 hours without dragging (too much). Today is a new day, however. Today, I am moving in slow motion. It is as if the air is thicker, so I have to use more effort to move through it. This better yield some results. If nothing else, I'll be stronger, right?

Calories, Diets, and Exercise! Oh my!

I am geared up and ready to do the unthinkable....I plan to go on a diet. This is something I have never really done and always privately feared. Now, here I am, needing to lose five pounds, wanting to lose ten, unable to do either with my normal routine.

I've tried adding a little exercise to my routine. Although I knew that would probably add weight, I also expected to at least lose inches. I've gained weight and inches. Not the ideal result of working out.

Yesterday, I made plans to go all out - cut my food intake way back, maybe even fast a few days. But, I have two little ones to chase around, so I do need to eat enough to not pass out midchase. Also (and the real reason here) I was starting to freak out thinking about every calorie in every bite. The more I had to focus on how many bites NOT to take and calories NOT to ingest and how I should NOT eat, the more it was on my mind TO EAT. This method seems a little counterproductive to me.

Then my brilliant husband had the idea to make just a few key changes in my habits. So, I came up with these:

1. Leave a few bites on my plate at every meal.
This will, in effect, cut my caloric intake (as long as I don't pile too much on my plate in the first place).

2. Steer clear of all the cheese.
I eat a lot of cheese. Cheese toast, cheese tortillas, alfredo sauce, etc. etc. That's a lot of fat. I need to be choosing veggies and fruit instead.

3. Burn more calories by (a)working out a lot more each day - like an hour, (b)sitting on a yoga ball instead of a regular chair during the day, (c)wearing those wrist and ankle weight things all day around the house.

We'll see if this works. I hope to lose five pounds this month. So, I'll know if it's working by the end of the week.

Sunny Days

Ahhhhhhh, warm sunshine.

I am so happy about this weather that I want to run around in circles and giggle like a kid hopped up on sugar and cola. SO HAPPY!!

Yesterday, we ate lunch outside. I sat on the deck and read and did whatever else I could that had the word "OUTSIDE" in the text.

I am definitely heading to the beach today.

You know what is super-awesome about this warm, beautiful, sunny weather? It is supposed to be like this all week. YAY!

Happy Three Day Weekend!

Pants!

Sew What?

I bought a sewing machine. I have sewn just a few times in my life, so this is a big leap. But, I've wanted one for years.

I'm excited to sew super-cute clothes for my daughter. I made her a pair of pants a few days ago. I used a pair of women's pants I had gotten from goodwill as the fabric. I didn't have a pattern and haven't sewn in about 7 years, so they didn't turn out perfect. But, hey, they are actually wearable!

Tree Silhouette

Art Class - Silhouettes

I LOVE my art class! This is so much fun!

We are doing this thing right now where we take a photograph that we like, put carbon paper under it, then put white construction paper under that. Then trace the images and shadows over the top of it all. The pressure from the tracing will transfer lines through the carbon paper onto the construction paper. With me so far?
When we're done tracing, we then use an exacto knife to cut out parts of the image. We take those pieces and glue them to another sheet of paper. The result is a contrasting, abstract image. The process is very tedious but really cool. I'll post a picture of one I did of a tree.

Rainbow over ocean this morning

Roy's at the Inn at Spanish Bay

Sorry, I went out last night and forgot to photograph where we ate, so you'll have to make due.

My lovermuffin and I went out on a date last night because we realized the last date we had was in early October '09. Seriously, 4 mths ago! Marriage counselors worldwide are shaking their heads in disapproval.

We went to Roy's at the Inn at Spanish Bay. This place was really great for a few reasons:

1. They refund the 17 mile drive fee if you spend $25 (yeah, I'm a sucker for refunds).

2. The place is amazingly beautiful, with a view from our table of the sunset over the bay.

3. We got to walk the paths around the place and down to the beach, which is just so beautiful.
Be forwarned: if you do this, no matter the time of year, bring a coat.

4. The food was orgasmic. I have never had such amazing lamb.

5. I wore jeans and did not feel out of place at all even though the place is high end. This is a big plus for me because even though I adore the idea of dressing up, I HATE the reality of tight dresses and high heels.

6. Last but not least, (this could be viewed as a pro or a con depending on individual preference) one word: bagpiper in kilt. Yeah, baby.

Like everywhere around here, Roy's was expensive, so to curb cost we shared a meal and a dessert. We ended up spending about $60 including tip.

Dolphin!

A few days ago I saw the biggest dolphin pod ever. As in over a
hundred dolphin swimming together like a swarm of bees. I think they
were feeding on a school of fish or something because they were all
close together and stayed right at the surface. A few in front would
randomly jump completely out of the water and splash back down. One
did it over and over again like he just couldn't get all his energy
out, just too excited to swim along like a normal, well behaved
dolphin. Reminded me of my son.

Anyway, seeing them was THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER!

Art Class

I just started an art class. It is just a basics/beginning art class to help me figure out how to put the ideas in my head into tangible form. Good luck with that, Teacher.

I am super excited about this class for a few reasons, but the biggest reason of all is that it is something for me. MINE, ALL MINE! MUWHAHAHA! Seriously, I spend all day (and many nights) everyday taking care of my (wonderful, loving, awesome) family. And, just because they are wonderful, loving, and awesome that doesn't mean they don't eat 5-6 times a day - on dishes (the gall!), get their clothes dirty (sometimes having 3+ outfit changes in a single afternoon), track mud, shed hair (not unlike a persian cat), get stuff out and leave it out (right in the middle of the kitchen floor), need entertainment (i.e. "MOMMMYYYYY!"), get booboos every 5 minutes that need scientific investigation, extensive dialogue, and kisses in EXACTLY the right spot, etc. etc.

So, yeah, this whole art class thing is MOMMY TIME, baby! I was flying so high off this the first day that I actually cried tears of joy on the way home. Am I pityful or what? Maybe just a little.

So, now you'll get to hear all about the great feats and awe inspiring conquests of me and my art class. Yay for you!

Public restroom

That is exactly what I want to smell first thing in the morning -
citrus spray and other people's feces. Now I have started my day off
right.

A Piano Fell On Me! Well, A Figurative Piano Anyway.

I used to have such big dreams long ago this morning. I even had a list written out beautifully and in detail. I was going to accomplish big goals, defeat all odds, conquer small countries. Well, I did plan to clean the house anyway. Because my house is TRASHED! NASTY! GRODIE! Oh, I haven't used the word "grodie" in so long! That felt good.

Anyway, my big dream was to have a clean, partially organized house by the end of the day. I made a very delicious, healthy breakfast for my family (kudos to me), wrote my List of Amazing Accomplishments To Come, cleaned up said awesome breakfast (more kudos), cleaned the bathroom (the kudos are rolling in), and hopped in the shower. Things avalanched quickly from there. The moment I stepped out of the shower, I felt like I had been slammed with a piano. Picture hapless cartoon character trapped under fallen piano with limbs sticking out from under the mess.

The rest of my day has been like hiking through a Savannah swamp. Slow, laborious, and not especially productive. I even took a nap, thinking that would restore my energy, but I feel exactly the same as before. Ugh.

Well, wish me luck. I'm still pushing through, albeit slowly.

No Place Like Home

I really love this place.

I just got back from the Sierras and Reno, traveling through Sacremento, Truckee, & c. The trip was awesome. Beautiful places, amazing snow, wonderful friends. But I gotta tell ya -  there's no place like home.

When I got up early the morning after we got back, I was so damn elated to look out over the ocean. I was all "Awe, my friend! I really missed you!"

I am a vagabond at heart. Traveling is in my soul. Moving every year or so is a habit I have yet to break. Now, though, I get the feeling that I will be here a while. Maybe a long while. I can hardly speak the word, but maybe...permanently.

Road Damage and Power Out

Expect some delays on the road for the next week or so.

After all that rain, the river has begun eroding a hillside that is supporting our little highway, so... Caltrans to the rescue! There will be some road closures Monday - Friday, 7a.m. to 5 p.m., near the State Park. And, during that time, the power will be cut off for us lucky enough to live south of the SP.

All I have to say is YAY FOR GENERATORS!

Snow!!!

We are bundled up for a little trip in the Sierras. We just put the
chains on because, sadly, we do not have 4 wheel drive. Yeah, I know.
We live in Big Sur and don't have 4 wheel drive!?
Don't judge me! We all have our faults.

Sunrise

Ahh The Storm Is Over

The skies are blue today! Only a few sprinkles here and there. It
sounds like the weather next week won't be as bad as predicted. Sounds
good to me. We will be busy clearing the debree from our yard.

Crazy Stuff

A huge redwood tree was struck by lightning not too far from our home. THE WHOLE TREE EXPLODED!!

Bits of it were scattered up to hundreds of yards away.

This is a 3 foot shard of wood that shot over 150 feet from where the tree originally stood. If you look in the background, behind the people, you can see a branch of the tree laying on the ground. Under that limb is the stump.

Rainbow

Seriously Big Waves

Half Way There and All Is Wet

We've had some wild winds blowing down branches and the tops of trees. We've had buckets full of rain drench us and muddy the yards. But we're still here and so are the roads!
Granted, this is only Wednesday. The rain is supposed to continue a few more days. I've heard next week is bringing a whole new storm front. But, for some reason, I feel like the worst is over. We'll see.

A lull in the storm but still dark and scary

Rain, Rain, Don't Go Away!

The rain is here and here to stay.

Everyone is talking about the deluge that will saturate Big Sur for the next week. I've never see such excitement for rain. Like it's the first snow of winter and we're kids again. Everyone is running around nervous and giddy at the same time. I am beginning to understand that this is the Big Sur equivalent of a snow day.

All this rain - 22 inches predicted - means life slows down. You can't work outside, which is where most of us spend half our days. Roads might get washed out stopping our long, often stressful errands in town. (I have friends who are almost wishing there will be a mudslide just to get a forced break from driving to town!) With the rain comes cold, windy days, so we keep the fireplace smoldering and the house cozy.

 But, first we have to run to town to stock up on any necessities just in case we're stuck at home for longer than expected - things like toilet paper and rice and dog food. We resupply our larder of dry firewood and kindling and bring in big armfuls to keep by the hearth so we won't have to brave the cold rain late at night. We scurry around our yard, putting tarps over things that aren't waterproof, gathering tools and supplies to put in the shed, making sure nothing is out that can easily blow away in the gusts of wind so common with these storms. I feel a little like an ant. It's fun, the whole "batten down the hatches!" feel to preparing for days on end of rain.

Then the rain arrives. And we relish it. Not only because it brings much needed water but because it slows us down. We settle into it, like a big bear in winter settles in to hibernate. We curl up next to the fire with our loved ones, sipping hot tea, and wondering at the beauty of mother nature's fury. We read books, take naps, bake, sew, reconnect with our families and ourselves.

Adjusting to this "Rain is coming!" life, where you bend your routine around the weather, feels awkward, but I like it. I get such a strong sense of community just by the fact that we are all affected by this one thing. We are all going about preparing at the same time. We are all thinking and planning and looking forward to the same event. We are all ready to help and support each other if there is a mudslide.

And, what is most awkward for me but is routine for everyone who has been here a while, we accept that, while we do what we can to prepare, in the end we relax into the storm. I don't know how to explain it, but I'll try. Life is bigger than our own selves, right? We all struggle with that truth. I just see that here, in a place where wild animals, fires, and storms can do all kinds of crazy stuff and people can do NOTHING to stop it, I see people comfortable with the bigness of life around them. This is what I struggle with but am learning to do. The letting go. The relaxing after preparing, so that we can enjoy the beauty of the storm and not just fear its power.

Creativity Everywhere

This morning I was thinking about titles. Like, titles for blog posts. Titles are not very easy to come up with. Well, good titles aren't very easy to come up with. They are supposed to reel you in, you know, make you salivate for more. There's a level of creativity involved. Then I started thinking about titles in general - titles for movies, books, articles, tv series, etc.
Now, bear with me here because I do have a point. Kind of.
I guess I started looking around and realized just how much creativity is out there. Someone had to came up with the awesome, soft material for my couch. Then someone else created the couch design itself. My coffee table, my plates, my silverware, my bedspread, the shows my kids watch, the shows I watch, music, books, commercials, wrapping paper, cars, clothes... Even the little intro thing that networks do to tell you what's coming on next. There are so many creative people out there! So many expressions of creativity!
That's kinda cool and. . . somehow a little overwhelming.

Forgiveness

"I contend that lack of forgiveness is holding onto the past in thoughts, energies, or actions. True forgiveness is demonstrated by "energetically" moving on cleanly to the next NOW."

Howard Glasser, M.A.

crazy suv with sculptures welded to it. Love it!

WHATEVER!

My daughter just turned three. She is advanced for her age, however, because she already has the rebelious teenager thing down.

For example, she was being loud and wild at the table, so I said, "You need to calm down now."
She ROLLED HER EYES!! Rolled those adorable, innocent baby blues!!!! And GRUMBLED UNDER HER BREATH,"WHATEVER." Just like she was thirteen and I was telling her that her skirt was too short. WHATEVER!!!!

Like the good parent that I am - totally on top of the situation, ready with the wisest, most discerning response - I start giggling and can't stop until the tears have started flowing.

Sheets of Eternal Reward

I recently bought a sheets set for our bed. They were originally pretty expensive, but because they were at a good sales price, I bought them. They felt soft when I felt them in the store, so they seemed like really great sheets. I bring the sheets home, wash them, and put them on the bed.

That night when I lay down I realized my mistake. I did not buy cotton sheets afterall. I had bought FIBERGLASS SHEETS! Seriously. These effing sheets are made of tiny glass particles! I had to change the pillowcase because otherwise I would break out in a festering rash if I continued snuggling up to the new one.

I still have the sheets on the bed oddly enough. Maybe subconsciously I am trying to atone for my sins. Or enter sainthood. Because I'm telling you. These sheets would do it. I will shed enough blood and suffer enough pain sandwiched between these two scraping, tearing shrouds that surely I will earn some type of eternal reward.

Beach Sunset

The Perfect Blog

So, I watched Julie/ Julia last night. I loved it. Totally. It is so sweet and cute and . . . Delicious! And, my husband and I walked around the rest of the night mimicing Julia Child's very strange voice.

I have to admit, Julia Child creeps me out a bit. She was really sweet (as portrayed in the movie anyway) but, you know, just  a little creepy. I say that with all the love in my heart.

Another confession: watching Julie with her crazy 365 day project and her daily blogging made me envious. I want to blog! Yeah, yeah. I am aware I am posting a blog this very minute. So, to be more specific, I want a project/ writing opportunity that transends my life and even the time-space continuum. Where I write about my one great passion. Where I know exactly what to write and how to phrase it in the most intreguing, entertaining, and endearing language known to mankind. Where the words flow from my fingertips automically without any strain. Where all this happens in a creamy, golden sort of way in which nothing truly discomforting happens.

What did you just say? Of course, I'm in touch with reality!!!

Good Morning!

5 Calories in Each Packet!

My 7 year old, skinny-as-a-rail son just yelled across the house from his perch in front of the tv, "Wow! Mom, there's this new thing that has just five calories in each packet!"

Dishwasher Envy

Yesterday, I had some friends over, and we got to talking about dishwashers. They were laughing at how they had tried to figure out a dishwasher while on vacation and had ended up with a fountain of suds pouring out onto the floor because they had used the wrong soap. I giggled and was like HOW DO YOU PEOPLE SURVIVE WITHOUT DISHWASHERS!! Because they didn't have one. They had children in their home dirtying dishes every three seconds just like me but NO DISHWASHER! Did you hear me? NO dishwasher! This I do not understand. It's as if my mind cannot accept that as a reality, so it shuts down. I hear someone say, "Well, we don't have a dishwasher." And, the next thing you know, my eyes are crossed and drool is dripping from the side of my open mouth while I moan and rock back and forth, back and forth.

So, I very calmly and maturely said, "I would DIE without a dishwasher! Seriously. D - I - E."

Then my very awe-inspiring dishwasher-free friends looked at me like "Bless your heart."

Something you should know about the phrase "Bless your heart": years ago I was taught by someone in the know that the loose translation of "bless your heart" is "You are to be pitied because you are mentally challenged." Really. So, the next time some sweet little old lady grins up at you and says, "Awe, bless your heart," rest assured she is really commenting on your stupidity. Feel the love.

Serious Cell Phone Phobia

 A while back, my husband told me about a study proving that using an earpiece reduced the risk of getting a brain tumor.
To which I asked, "Reduces it from what?"
"From risks involved with using a cell phone," he expounded.
At this point, I stopped in mid-step, put down my laundry basket, looked him in the eyes, and very intelligently responded, "Huh?"
My very patient husband then explained how studies have been conducted to test the long term risks of using cell phones. Apparently, one of the risks is brain tumors.
"In fact," he said, cheerfully wrapping up his pep talk, "Radio towers are built with fences around them because if a deer walks too close to the tower, it gets microwaved - cooked. And, since cell phones are basically tiny, miniature versions of a radio or cell tower, there are similar, albeit smaller scale, versions of the same risks."
By this point, I am ready to flush my cell phone down the toilet, and obviously the look on my face expressed that sentiment because my husband said. "You mean, you hadn't heard any of this before?"
I then launched into a panicked tirade about how in the world did cell phones become legal for use if this research was out there!? How much can a person use a cell phone before the tumor begins to grow? How can they be sure the earpiece helps? I wear that phone in my pocket all freakin' day! Am I going to get ovarian cancer because of that?
When I finally calmed down enough to hear my husbands voice over my hyperventilations, I realized all he could say to comfort me was, "I don't know." So helpful.
As my pulse slowed a bit, I began to think to myself, "Okay, in case this is all true, I will be sure to use an earpiece. If an earpiece isn't handy, I'll put it on speakerphone. Okay. I'll be okay."
I can't help but wonder, though, let's say I'm a good girl and use the earbud every time I talk on the phone. I put the earpiece in; then put the phone in my back pocket.
Does this mean I run the risk of developing ass cancer? As if my butt isn't big enough already, it's got to grow a tumor, too.

Coyotes

I'm reading a book called The Daily Coyote by Shreve Stockton. I really like it. It reminds me of where I live now, my childhood, and all the daydreams I have of rugged mountains and rolling plains. Oh, and it satisfies my coyote infatuation. I really like coyotes.

Coyotes are not as romanticized as wolves, but in some ways I think they are even cooler than wolves. For instance, instead of becoming endangered when over-hunted, they actually increase in number! They have adapted to living within the human world with very little difficulty and are often seen hanging out in suburbs and even cities.

I can remember waking up in the middle of the night when I was a kid to hear the raucous yipping and howling of a pack of coyotes that lived on our land. They would come down the bluff from the woods to drink from the pond behind our barn. It always sounded like they were throwing a big coyote party. They were laughing and shouting and having a big time. Instead of being afraid, I was entranced. They just sounded so happy to me, like they would be a lot of fun to hang out with. I could even hear the high yips and barks of the pups which was too cute for words. Then I would fall back asleep to dream that hundreds of coyotes were surrounding our house. The dream was a little creepy.

Tree Issues

Time to take down the Christmas tree.

I don't know why I'm like this. Every year, I want my Christmas tree up as soon as possible, like the day after Halloween. Seriously. I am all about two solid months of Christmas lights, ornaments, holiday glow, and anticipation. Then about 2 days after Christmas, I'm done. Over. It. Take that damn thing down! It's cluttering the living room!

This year, I lasted all the way up to yesterday. I started feeling a little pressure yesterday morning, like; "Okay, time to get out the Christmas storage boxes and put the decorations away." This morning, it was more like, "WHERE ARE THE BOXES?" Now, this afternoon, everytime I look at the tree I feel like a dead pet is staring back at me. The tree's got to go!

Can anyone guess what I will be doing when I'm done writing this post?

Open Windows

I know something as mundane as the weather should not be so exciting to me. But. . .

OMG! I can't get over this Big Sur weather! We just started the new year, winter is still in full force, and yet I played ball with my kids outside in the warm sunshine yesterday! We even had a picnic lunch for goodness sake!

I spoke with a friend back east. She happened to be outside when I called. She was scrambling to get inside out of the cold while I was walking around my house opening windows. I felt a little guilty. . . but I was still smiling.

Happy Caffeine! I mean, New Year!

Yay me! I am starting this New Year off right! I just spent God knows how long reorganizing our filing system for last year and setting up a system for this year. See! Aren't you proud of me?

Before that I sent a check to a charity I really like, including some money my son wanted to give. I had put this little task off for months. So, I'm happy to finally complete this task.

Next I'm going to feed my poor, hungry children and then clean this pig sty of a house.

My productivity streak is solely due to the power of caffeine. I loaded up the coffee pot this morning with what I thought was the decaf coffee I have every morning. After about an hour of hyperactive cleaning and frenzied organizing (accompanied by a serious case of the shakes), I realized my mistake. Aside from mistyyyyping every othther letterrr, I'm doing greate!

Shout out loud with me now:

WOOHOO! CAFFEINE!

Now laugh maniacally, and you've got the idea.

South coast Hwy 1